Sunday, 26 June 2016


At work on Friday, alongside my regular tasks, I had the EU referendum poll results open on my desktop, which I was refreshing intermittently. 

There was a brief moment early on, when I checked and saw that  "remain" was ahead. This lead me to breath a sigh of relief. I thought about the thousands of people back home seeing this just before heading to bed, expecting to wake up to a UK that would continue to be part of the EU.

But as we all know, this is not what happened. It was a slow and anxious day as I watched the results slowly unfold. By the point at which the voting outcome was clear, I felt the severe sense of disappointment, shock and worry that I knew many people back home would be waking up to. 

Then, the influx of opprobrium began. My private conversations over messaging apps, and the public spaces on social networking sites where people air their thoughts and opinions, were quickly filled with the strong reactions of family, friends and acquaintances back home. I can only imagine how strange the atmosphere in London has been over the last couple of days.

Why did this happen and what now?

I voted to remain. I felt a vote to leave was one based on nostalgic, nationalistic pride and to remain was based on economic reasoning, reliable logic and the opinions of intellectuals and professionals. This is the rhetoric which I have been exposed to and had put my faith in after listening to podcasts, news articles and think pieces posted online over the past few weeks.

However, in spite of what many of my fellow disappointed remain-voters are claiming, can having voted "leave" so simply be dismissed as a case of ignorant emotion over logic? Of course not...well I hope not at least. Can the people of my generation, who are well informed and taught to think analytically, be politically sensitive and open minded, really believe that any political argument can simply be that black and white? Was it really such an obviously stupid decision?

One cannot deny there is genuine worry and a lot of uncertainty for what is to come next for the UK. But, what is done is done. We now have to believe in the decision of 51.9% of British voters, however daunting that might be. We have to embrace whatever is to come next, even if we really don't want to.

All I know is that I'm glad to be in Tokyo. Returning to the UK at this time is a worrying prospect. I was confident that the British economy was strong, and that I would be able to find secure work upon my return. But now, I'm not so sure. I'm not even sure if the UK is a place I really want to be at all anymore. I don't feel angry with the decision made, just estranged by it. If I leave Japan, is my only choice the UK? Who's to say I can't find a future home somewhere else altogether. 

After an emotional day, I went out on Friday night...I had to. Well sort of. I started drinking umeshu with my landlord and got the sense that she might be in need of it.  At times when I feel at a loss, I can embrace the spontaneous fun that Shimokitazawa so generously provides. 

And for those having a hard time with it all, here is my current musical obsession to help put yourself at ease:

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

Plant puberty

The basil plant which I've grown from scratch...watered everyday and loved as my own... is now going through an uncomfortable growth spurt.

It's consuming more water than normal, the leaves are awkwardly changing shape and yesterday it told me to fuck off to my face.

Plants. They grow so fast.

Saturday, 11 June 2016

A stream of stupidity

It reads like a commentary of times I get drunk, yet only shows the shallowest surface of  experience and emotion.

It is great to remember the occasional fun nights when I am able to unwind. But, I don't want to forget the inner struggles, changes and triumphs that really occur.

Everything to be passed over in a click-scroll-swipe. My thoughts and my experiences are as disposable as my heart.

Tuesday, 7 June 2016


The lead singer of my favourite japanese band "The Fin." celebrated his birthday tonight in shinjuku.

A roof top 食べ放題飲み放題 bar atop of a Shinjuku mall. What a great find...what a great night!

Happy 25th Yuto!

On the way up to the rooftop bar I insisted we take an elevator selfie - only to realise afterwards there was a very self conscious 知らない人 in the back...also known as a random. She did a good job of hiding her face.

Other people took better pictures, I just wanted to make sure I photographed the name of the place and the set up...I never requested for people to actually "pose" for a photograph...God forbid.

Good night team.